"Well, the new dress was originally $80, but it reduced to $40. So I bought it with the $40 I saved."
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at someone else's paper, Jack.
Jack: I hope so too, sir.
A student sent a telegram to his parents: "Mom--flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
Teacher: If you found three dollars in your right pocket and two dollars in your left pocket, what would you have?
Student: I must have somebody else's pants on.
"Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven...You haven't got your hand up. Don't you want to go to Heaven?"
"I can't. My mum told me to go straight home."
Teacher: Bob, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Bob: Mum says so, Dad says so, and you say so!
In class, the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked, "What kinds of bird do you like best, Jack?"
Jack answered, "Fried chicken, sir."
Brother: I saw you kiss my sister. Give me a nickel, or I'll tell my father.
Sister's BF: Don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Brother: I've made a buck and a quarter this month.